Fritz's Friends, Page 3

Jethro Töe

Not to be confused with the one-legged flute player of Jethro Tull. Töe studied flute at the Wikewizentarbowsh School of Music (the most reputable of Gnomish music academies). He also learned many songs on his travels. It is estimated that he can play some 7,000 tunes from memory alone. His repertoire includes Gnomish, Elvish, Dwarven and even Human songs, and he has written several pastorales based on the mating songs of European Dragons. He first appears in chapter 30.


Theobold the Younger

A wise and respected little Gnome, Theobold fervently carries on the work of his father, Theobold the Elder (of course -ed.). He wanders around quoting tidbits of knowledge to anyone he meets. Sometimes these passages are quite profound maxims, sometimes it's just good advice ("your trousers have come undone in the rear", etc.). Occasionally he just states the painfully obvious. An example of this is when he "informed" everyone in an entire Gnome village that "many trees are some shade of brown." But all Gnomes, big and small alike (and those who already know about tree colours), love him just the same. He first appears, wiser than ever, in chapter 30.



A very fine Gnome indeed, and a busy one. It's a wonder he's able to bury his nose in books all the time. He makes the finest smoking pipes, he's a first-rate architect, his red woolen socks are world famous (the ones he makes and the pair that he wears), he's the owner of the Tubbytown Cotyledons (a very successful Erdnuss* team), and it was rumoured he was the secret co-manager of Mexican wrestling champion (and action hero), "Buddy" Centavo. (It's always the quiet ones. -ed) Many people wonder why it is he has glasses but they're always on top of his head rather than over his eyes. It's because they're "counting glasses", so he only needs to wear them when he's doing maths. His pet hedgehog, Wilberforce, is a very profound little animal. His wisdom is such that people come from all around to ask advice, which he always gives freely. Ogilvy and his hedgehog first appear in chapter 30.

*Erdnuss is a very popular Gnomish sport, involving two teams and a peanut.



"The Tumbler" Now here's a happy little guy! Tomblin spends most of his time tumbling down grassy knolls and roving through lush meadows. He is constantly looking for new and wonderful places to frolic in and tumble over. He lounges in the grass and on soft patches of moss. He has a list of the most comfortable moss-patches in the world... it's quite extensive. He can first be seen lounging next to Ogilvy in chapter 30.



Hopyard lives in a place known to Humans but seldom visited at night. Graveyards (or "hopyards" as Gnomes like to call them) wouldn't seem a likely place to find Gnomes, but they do enjoy their solitude in the wee hours. For centuries, Gnomes have gathered in cemetaries at night to play games, especially leaping over tombstones (hence the name "hopyard"). So this is where Hopyard makes his home. He is a fine stone jumper, easily mastering such leaps as "Grimes"*, and often has his friends over to carry on all hours of the night. His friend, Fudgebert the bear (or "Fudgey"), is his constant companion. They get into all sorts of adventures in and out of the graveyard. Hopyard and Fudgey first appear in chapter 30.

*Grimes is the name on a particularly large stone in a tiny hidden cemetary in New Hope, PA. It is quite difficult for Gnomes to jump, and is often used to measure one's leaping abilities.


Bustopher Brimblebottom

Bustopher prefers to spend most of his time enjoying a nice pipe and moving piles of things. He is constantly shifting piles of earth, gravel, books, fish, shoes, etc., usually with no plan or purpose. It is rare to find him without his "wheelbarrow of cheer" (as he calls it). He takes it everywhere, saying that you never know when a wheelbarrow will come in handy, and it often does. He gives people rides, or carries people's washings or take-away food for them. He's a very nice fellow. He first appears wheeling in a keg of beer in chapter 30.



Now here's a Gnome who knows how to have fun! He travels around exploring and mapping caves. He carries with him his trusty lantern, his magic safety pin (it's unclear what power it has), and his megamagnadepthochronometer (which is attached to a fob like a pocket watch). This last instrument can tell time on three continents, guage depths and distances, keeps track of the stars, the moon and the planets, gives accurate readings of longitude and latitude, direction and oxygen levels, locate fresh running water, precious metals and stones, detect the presence of Lovecraftian beings and it has a set of nail clippers and a toothpick. This miraculous object was given to him by Queen Dylath-Leen of the Gnomish city of Oriab for saving her kingdom with the use of his magic safety pin... but that's another story. He first appears in chapter 30.


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